So I haven't blogged since June. For some reason, I was going through a bout of depression. Maybe things just ganged up on me. Maybe it was this insane heat of 115. Maybe it was the 5th anniversary of Danny's death coming up. Don't know, but praise God, it's over now.

Still doing jail ministry, enjoying it, having great results with the ladies. They are so amazing to build their faith and praise the Lord WHILE IN JAIL! I don't know if I could do it. We had song "Seek Ye First the Kingdom of God" in Portsmouth Jail Friday after study. Satan has been hindering me getting in for 2 weeks (I got in each time). So I knew we were going to get some good things out of the Word, and I was right!

Going to spend time with my grandson Friday. It will be his day. Doing a movie and something else he chooses. I enjoy the one-on-one with him where he can be himself. He needs what my daughter got after we adopted her--his body getting permission to grow. It's like saying, "Body, you're safe now. Go ahead and flourish!"

School's Out!

Well, it was out forever for me last July when I retired. But everybody else involved with schools is happy it's officially summer today. Going to an end-of-the-school-year party Friday, good friends, good time.
I had a recurring nightmare last night, about my classroom being out of control, usually have that dream when I have a major problem to solve. Feel really good about granddaughter Teresa's future, so that's one problem down, at least temporarily.
I have another really big one to face in the near future, so bring it on! This is going to involve tact, a lot of prayer (already have friends pre-praying for me)and probably tears. It involves a very serious issue in our family and I could go into denial, brush it under the rug but I think God wants me to face it head on for the sake of another person. So I will.

Who Said Being a Christian Was Easy?

Got the news yesterday that a friend of mine committed suicide. It's so devastating to me, his other friends and his family. When you are in pain enough to kill yourself, you aren't thinking of the consequences. I know;I've been there. When my whole family died, I didn't want to go on. And thoughts of being with them in Heaven were overpowering. I was really mad at God.

But I always knew how bad things got, I would never kill myself--too much reverence for life, I guess. That doesn't make me any better than my friend,just different. The Christians who say you can pray your way out of depression are only partly right. Sometimes you need good therapy, too. We should never condemn other Christians who aren't "spiritual" enough to conquer depression on their own. We all need friends and family and sometimes therapy to make it through this life. God is waiting for us to realize this and help us heal. I know this because He healed me.

Rainy Day

It's a rainy day. Got back from sunny Florida, beautiful temps in 70's. It was like being in school for me, reading "Secrets of a Prayer Warrior" by Derek Prince and "Customs of Bible Lands." I was cooking (I know you can't believe that!) for my sister-in-law, Lola and helping her out. We had a good time getting reacquainted, can't believe I hadn't seen her for 15 years! A serious issue came up and I have been hashing it out ever since, still seeking God for direction in what to do about it.
Still love jail ministry--going to do James 1 tomorrow in Chesapeake Jail with the ladies. Breaking forth the Word of Life is always cool! So I won't mind the rainy day, just keep on keepin' on.

Traveling

Going to help out my sister-in-law. Should be quite an adventure. My friend, Elaine, is traveling with me part of the way. I've asked God to make plain what I am to do or who I am to talk to during this time. I don't know. I intend to have a good time while serving, and hope not to get sunburned.

People are praying for my safety in traveling. That is a good thing. I am praying for wise driving decisions.

Going to miss my kitties and going to church.

Loneliness

Even though it's spring already, (and a beautiful one it is!), I wrote a poem about winter looking for spring as I worked through my grief. Here it is:

I see Spring in the distance,
A lone figure, fuzzy gray against white,
Tentatively picking its way around boulders
Thrown up violently against the shore.

I can see Spring in the distance,
Looking puzzled, disoriented, unsure
Like the Jews who were commanded to sing
And play their harps in a foreign land,
Their hearts stark and broken.
They could not sing.
They hung their harps on
The willows by the river.
No music,no joy.

But I see Spring in the distance,
Head not bowed,
Despite eyes filled with pain,
Placing one foot carefully
In front of the other,
Unrelenting,
Determined,
Alone.

It's Spring--New Life!

What beauty is around us in the daffodills, flowering trees and returning birds! God is such a Wonderful Creator! The Resurrection corresponds to the earth's new life by showing us new life in eternity because of Christ.
My heart is missions and my desire is for everyone to be saved. Of course, my own family is on the top of my list and God has been faithful to them to hear the Gospel. I want my grandchildren to know God in a deep way, not just a surface agreement that they believe in Jesus. I pray for them all the time. They have to make their own decisions, now that they are 16 and 18, even though they accepted Christ and were baptized at a younger age.
I am concerned about the ladies in the jails, that they find a living relationship with Christ. Lately, several have committed or recommitted their lives to God, and that makes my heart glad. Denise and I want them to live out their salvation in righteous living, and many are trying to do that. This is the meaning of spring--new life, new shoots coming up in the Jesus life.